Im Not Ok
by psycicvamp
Summary: Bella is a girl with eating disorders. Edward is a psychologist. Will these two find love in the most awkward place possible, or will it remain a doctor patient relationship? Suck at summaries, so read the real thing. R&R.AH
1. Chapter 1

_**This is a test drive. Should I write this story or not.**_

Bella's POV

Great. So my mom had caught me throwing away my food. I don't eat, OK. I like to loose weight. It's the only way to stay adored at school not like those fat girls. That's the reason that right now my mom is making me, a 22 year old, to a psychologist.

Edwards POV

I don't really remember what made me want to deal with peoples' problems. I just finished dealing with this little girl who had witnessed a murder. Wow, this poor little girl traumatized for the rest of her life. And then I remembered it was to help little girls like this. I'm a 26 year-old psychologist, about to deal with a 20 year old anorexic.

_**Ok so umm…. Should I continue this story or not?**_


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's POV

I arrived at Dr. Cullen's office, and the lady at the front office greeted me. "Hi my name is Esme, how may I help you," She said.

" I'm here to see Dr. Cullen. My name is Bella Swan." I answered. Really what else would I be here for? Esme offered me a Chocolate (obviously not reading why I was here). I declined her offer and went to sit down. As a little girl walked out of the Doctors room, hand in hand with her mother, they called my name.

As I walked into the room I saw a handsome looking young man, and I asked myself, could this really be the doctor. He didn't look any older than 20.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen," said the handsome man, "and you must be Bella."

Edward's POV

Once the little girl was out of the room I told my assistant to call in the next girl. Apparently her name was Bella. As she walked in you could automatically tell she was unhealthy.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen" I said "and you must be Bella." She just nodded. Why is it that all women react like this? My ex, Jessica, called it dazzling. Haha.

"Now I see you are here because you have an eating disorder," I said. She on the other hand just sighed. " Now, Bella, what started all of this?" She didn't answer for a few minutes but finally gave in. "It all started………."She began.

Bella's POV

"I guess it would all have to begin with my stupid, retarded ex-boyfriend Mike. He always wanted more from me but I would never allow it so he called me a fat bitch and that's why nobody liked me. After hanging around with people I always felt like they where looking at me differently. I actually started to believe what Mike had told me. I started out bulimic, but the fact of making me make myself sick was just too much. So then I just stopped eating about 6 months ago, and now I'm here." I told the Doctor. H e was writing down notes in his notepad and just nodded. I was expecting the typical "And how does this make you feel" speech, but the doctor surprised me. " Do you think that if you had never met Mike you would be here in this situation?" He asked. After thinking about it I answered "No". He replied with "Then why do you not eat?" All I could say was " Because it makes me feel good," and then I stood up and left.

_**So tell me how you guys think It's going. Please, Please review and I'll try to make longer chapters, but school is just eating me away**_


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG!!!! Im Soooo sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Its just I keep on saying I'll do it and then I forget, or run out of time. School really kills me, and being in the IB program really doesn't help.**

BPOV

I told another lie today

And I got through this day

No one saw through my games

I know the right words to say

Like "I don't feel well"

"I ate before I came"

Then someone tells me how good I look

and for a moment

For a moment I am happy

But when I'm alone

No one hears me cry

I need you to know

I'm not through the night

Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

I need you to know

That we'll be okay

Together we can make it through another day

I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful

The day I chose not to eat

What I do know is how I changed my life forever

I know I should know better

There are days when I'm okay

And for a moment

For a moment I find hope

But there are days when I'm not okay

And I need your help

So I'm letting go

I need you to know

I'm not through the night

Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

I need you to know

That we'll be okay

Together we can make it through another day

You should know you're not on your own

These secrets are walls that keep us alone

I don't know when but I know now

Together we'll make it through somehow

Together we'll make it through somehow

I need you to know

I'm not through the night

Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

I need you to know

That we'll be okay

Together we can make it through another day

Courage played on the radio. I thought the song was pretty ironic for my situation. I couldn't believe Dr. Cullen. Of course I would still be anorexic…Right?.....Was Dr. Cullen right?!?!?!

I had arrived home. I couldn't bring myself to walk out of the car. By this point I was already with tear pouring out of my eyes. At these moments on time I wished I still lived with my mom. She always seemed to be there to comfort me. But of course I was a mature adult. Who according to some people just happened to make some immature choices.

I walked into my house. My answering machine was blinking, signaling a new message. I pressed the button, and of course it was my mom.

"Hey honey. I was just calling to see how your first session with Dr. Cullen had been. Call me back when you can. Bye honey."

What surprised me was a new message from Dr. Cullen too.

"Hello Bella. I was calling to see if we could set up a new session for sometime this week. Please call me back whenever possible at 555-3155. Thank You."

It had been a stressful day and was too tired to call anybody. I was also afraid someone would tell I had been crying. I called it a night and went to bed.

**Sooo…Don't forget to review. I'll try to start updating sooner from now on.**

**~Psycicvamp ^o^**


	4. Chapter 4

EPOV

I wonder why Bella hadn't replied to my message. She was so young and I hope she was ok. She was also so beau- No Edward, you can't think of a patient like that. That's not right. She probably thinks you're just another shrink who doesn't really care about her feelings. I then got into my Volvo and drove home, thinking of Bella the whole drive home.

The Next Day…………

BPOV

Jessica, one of my best friends (even though I hated her) was texting me. She was one of the few people who remained my friends when the incident happened:

_Jessica:Hey_

_Bella:Hey_

_Jessica:How was the shrink ___

_Bella:ummm…… I guess it was k_

_Jessica:Is he one of those old guys?_

_Bella: Nope. Actually I don't think he's that much older than u n me :/_

_Jessica: OOhhhhh is he hot? Can u hook me up? :) _

_Bella: He's ok. U wud really date a shrink…. Wow r u that desperate? *Sigh*_

_Jessica: Hey!!! I just want a guy with money.. geeeez_

_Bella: Whatever… Bye_

Sometimes Jessica could really get annoying. I really don't like her and her shallowness. A friend is trying to solve eating disorders, lets go flirt with the shrink. Could life be any suckier? At least it was Saturday and I could stay in pjs all day. Then the phone rang…

EPOV

"Hello" A sweet Voice answered

"Yes…Mrs. Swan this is Dr. Cullen" I said

"Oh…." She said sounding almost upset because I was calling, "Sorry about not calling you back last night, I was… tired…"

I wasn't completely sure she was telling me the whole truth. " That's fine. I was just calling to ask about scheduling another appointment" I could hear a sigh on the other side of the line.

She replied, " Dr. Cullen, I don't really think I need a shrink. I believe I can get over this…thing… just perfectly alone without anyone criticizing my decisions"

" Mrs. Swan, I am truly sorry about asking such personal questions on your first appointment. But I have to say that that is my job, and what I went to College for. Your situation, among others truly intrigues me beyond belief." I must've sounded like a real jerk.

"I guess one more appointment wont hurt…." She said defeated.

" How about Tuesday at 2?"

"Fine" she replied and hung up

* * *

Summer Vacation has finally come for me so I will be trying to post more frequently. I am so sorry that I haven't been updating, it is just that life has been fairly crazy these past few weeks.

~PsycicVamp


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